Monday, August 6, 2012

Post of the Year: Yeamax on kcerwd

kcerwd, my old buddy. Known the guy for years; still have a hard time trying to figure out what’s going on between his ears sometimes. And that’s not a slight. You gotta respect a guy who’s unpredictable – and I’m not talking about the unpredictable type that gets drunk and randomly picks fights with people. I'm talking about the unpredictable type that gets drunk and randomly hugs people. I’m talking about the unpredictable type that plays left field for the blog squad, and throws perfect 350 foot strikes right over home plate, nailing foolish ignoramuses that think they can score from first base on a teammate’s two-bagger. kcerwd: gold glove of the blog squad. Swings a mean bat, too (right ladies?).

An invaluable member of Latch Out Loud Enterprises, kcerwd is known for addressing the hard hitting issues that nobody else would dare touch (JoPa, anyone?). He’s also a mischievous guy in the comment section of the blog. The lion’s share of those anonymous comments? Yeah, that’s kcerwd. You can tell by his signature unnecessary apostrophes. It’s his trademark. And that trademark has got him in hot water more than once.

So I’ve been going through his posts for the last little while, trying to pick through a handful of really solid entries. If it’s humour you need, there’s humour, indeed. He’s also not afraid to voice his fear of hanging out alone, and his utter disdain for dark Sundays spent in the living room of Cooper (go outside lad!).

Anyways, I’ve narrowed it down to three selections. It was difficult, because I found five really high quality posts. Oh well, let’s do this.

Purel..ol (Aug. 6, 2011) – This was kcerwd’s first attempt at blogging, and my oh my did he ever come in hot. He spun out a tale so ludicrous, so very cringe-worthy you wouldn’t believe it to be true, unless of course you’d actually met the guy before. And I do believe that ol’ kcerwd was relying on the anonymity of his blogger handle to keep him shrouded in mystery. Well, he’s let his guard down a little over the past year, and I think a good chunk of blog readers now know just who this friendly giant is. Anyways, we all know that D-Wizzle gets the ladies’ private areas burning up, Purell, or not. So you don’t need to read this entry to find out how it ends, but I’d highly recommend it, if for nothing other than a good hearty LOL.

What your cardboard cutout says about you… (Nov. 11, 2011) – This is just classic. Only kcerwd would ever think of something as ridiculous and hilarious as this. And only kcerwd would ever come out in support of Joe Paterno after he was busted for hiding his disgusting pal Jerry Sandusky’s habit of touching little boys. Now I’m not one to pass judgment on people, so I’ll leave it up to the readers to decide if our esteemed blogger is a pedo-bear, disillusioned, or was maybe just a little misinformed at the time of this entry. Personally, I’d lean towards the latter, but that’s mostly because kcerwd told me to say that. Plus he’s significantly bigger than me, and has been a little off lately because of a fake-tough-guy feud that he and his roommate and fellow blogger Henry Thorough have been carrying out over the last few days. Best not to poke the big cat. Anyways, read the post for yourself; it’s damn good.

7 New Year’s Resolutions Actually Worth Keeping (Jan. 2, 2012) – What a way to ring in the New Year! This post accurately captures not only the boiz depressing inability to deal with a monumental hangover, but also their collective will to forge on and make the world a better place. I like this one because our friend kcerwd manages to slip in a handful of hilarious inside jokes, while maintaining class, professionalism, and dignity throughout. Now, I’m not so sure how our pal is keeping up with these resolutions (have you seen how dark it is in the Cooper apartment lately?), but I still admire him for trying, damnit. God knows most of you are probably still doing the same inane bullshit you’ve been doing for the past five yea—uhhh, wow, sorry. I don’t know what came over me. You’re all wonderful people. Please continue reading the blog. I’ll pay you if that’s what it takes. Please.

And so…the winner…issssssss:

What your cardboard cutout says about you… by a goddamn country mile! This is easily my favourite piece of kcerwd’s work. And it should be yours’ too. That doesn’t mean you should vote for him though, because you should vote for me. That’s right folks, I have no shame whatsoever.

Alright, ladies and gents, that’s it for me. Enjoy the rest of the show and don’t forget to weigh in as soon as we get that poll up!

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