Monday, August 8, 2011

CC On Ice

No, unfortunately, this isn't going to be an introductory post outlining the details of my forthcoming interpretative dance performance on skates (tentatively titled 'My Cycles, On Ice"), but instead is strictly an introductory post.

Evenin', the name's CC. I also go by Johnathan J. Mackleroy. And nothing else. And I consider myself a latch.

My contribution to this beautiful bitch of a behemoth of a blog will consist of restaurant news, woefully ignorant MLB playoff predictions, horoscopes typed out backwards and the occasional poem. The fact that I am writing this at a bar is appropriate for two main reasons: I spend a lot of time at them and I don't have the internet at my apartment. Apparently the riser cable is fucked (obviously).

I am not a fan of absolutist terms. I find them constricting, and not the good kind of constricting like skinny jeans. Dealing in absolutist terms is like incestuous relations with a cousin, sure it's easy, but it is illegal for effs sakes, and just plain wrong. But as it turns out there are two that I do in fact subscribe to, and I will lay them out for you people using the most helpful of layout tools, bullet points:
  • You can never have enough ice. I'm not talking about bitter, Moscow-esque Ottawan winters here, I mean when it comes to drinking, one can never, ever have enough ice.
  • Being a latch means being on point, on toes and on whatever ball might happen to be around at any given time. It means not giving a fuck but also giving a lot of fuck. It is a contradiction and a hell of a lot of fun. It has a literal definition, one might even say an absolutist definition, which is something that holds two disparate pieces of opening together. That's what we do. We hold things together in a way that non-latches will non-always understand.
If you have a problem with either of these two points, then you are probably a teetotaler. That's okay. I don't meant to offend or discourage, I don't think any of the crew here do. What we aim to do is enlighten and hilarify. Heighten and energize. And cry maybe, a little bit.

Late On Latching, but working hard,

CCUL8R

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