Saturday, August 6, 2011


Let's be serious here folks. This blog is exclusive. If you're reading this, you're the hippest of the hip, the coolest of cool, the cat's pajamas, the bee's knees, the fucking cock of the walk, a lad, a latch, or any combination of such things

If you haven't heard about the latchblog, I'm not surprised. The only people who don't know about this blog are mainstream yuppies who listen to radio top-forty-spit-in-my-sock-pop-garbage. These Morley Abbott's of the world probably don't even wear skinny jeans, and you most definitely voted for Stephen Harper in the last election - not your local MP, but Stephen Harper because you really have no idea how our parliamentary system of government works. And most of all, you definitely cannot expound an acronym.

If you have any of these aforementioned traits, you are lost in the caverns of the internet. Quickly close your internet browser (probably Microsoft Explorer, you fascist) and return to reading the Ottawa Sun.

I'm going to lay out my raison d'etre in a few short, simple words. 

"Exclusivity and LOLs"

It's more than a mantra, it's a way of life, a code, a sacred religious scripture. I'm going to request that it be included in any and every non-secular testament - because, clearly, any ecclesiastical figure regardless of religious denomination surely agrees with such a statement. I'm going to get it tattooed on my slightly smaller than average penis. 

My contributions to this blog will be varied, focused mainly on themes of exclusivity and LOLz.

If you need me, I'll be busy working on the LOL manifesto and the biography of all members of the LOLz Union. 


  1. Paul Henry: the most credible threat to the Harper throne since Brian Marooney. Bertocracy.

  2. How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.