The Dustiest

The grizzled veteran of the blog scene. Think George Foreman before he got all hung up on grills for some reason. I was bloggin' before most people even knew what a blog was. There is a good chance I invented blogs and just haven't got around to taking proper credit. To think, this could have been called a Dale.

But enough about me, let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I'm here to keep everyone up to speed on the city's 2nd most popular sports franchise, the Ottawa Senators. Despite the departure of key cogs like Jarkko Ruutu and Alex Kovalev, the Senators are scheduled to ice a team this coming fall. Stay tuned.

In order to properly prepare to participate in this blog, I spent the majority of the afternoon googlin' the word latch I think I'm pretty much up to speed. Latchford is a small town on the shores of Bay Lake and the Montreal River. They recently lifted the boil water advisory which is great news. Twitter tells me there is a Big Latch-On this weekend. Probably gonna sit that one out.

My contributions will be limited to times when I am hungover. I find that's when I do my best work.

Think you're having a rough day? Beers for none, LOLz for all.

Five Things To Do In Ottawa Before Summer's End

There's only a month left in summer, and some of you are likely sunburned, bored, heat-stroked, lazy, and running out of things to do. "What in the Boris are we gonna do on a Wednesday night in August?" you might have asked a friend recently. Well, if you continue reading you're likely to find a solution to your little quagmire.

Ottawa Fat Cats Playoff Baseball

The boyz of summer are in the playoffs. Not only that, but they’ve advanced to the second round, dispatching the favoured (but not favourite) London Majors in game 5 of their first round series. The Fat Cats now face the first-seeded Barrie Baycats, with the winner moving on to the IBL championship series. Games one and two go this weekend in Barrie. Games three through five are in Ottawa, though game times have yet to be announced.

What better way to spend a late-summer’s evening than at the ball park? Get a picture with Grape, taunt the opposing players, drink a blueberry cooler, get a dog into ya, and cheer on the boyz. It’s ‘Cats vs. ‘Cats for the chance to play for the championship.

Piknic Electronik

(far too underground to have any published photos)

I was debating whether or not to include Piknik Electronik in this post, since it’s so damn exclusive and posting about it here is a surefire way to sell the thing out. In the end I decided I shouldn’t hold back, so here you go…

Piknic is an outdoor electro music party that combines DJs from the Captial Region (and beyond), an awesome outdoor venue (the grounds of the Museum of Civilization), and some of the Ottawa area’s quirkiest revelers (think 50-something-year-old lad doing cartwheels). The show runs Sundays from 2-9pm. Those wishing to keep the party going can check out the after-Piknic at Le Petit Chicago for more electro-goodness.

The outdoor set usually showcases three or four DJs for the low, low price of $10. $5 will get you a beer or mixed drink. Just showing up will crank your exclusivity knob to 11.

Take a Bike (Ride)

Urban cycling doesn’t get much better than here in the Capital. With over 220 kilometers of paths in Ottawa and Gatineau, you can get just about anywhere without having to spend much time dodging cars and construction on Carling Avenue. Some of the most scenic roads in the region are opened exclusively to bikes on Sunday mornings, thanks to Sunday Bikedays. And if you’re the take-your-life-in-your-hands type, you can try a little bit of mountain biking in Gatineau Park.

Don’t have a bike? Sorry, that’s not an excuse.

Casino du Lac-Leamy’s Sound of Light

Considering I’ve only been gambling at the Casino for the past 9 years, it’s a bit hard to believe that their fireworks competition is in its 16^th year. In any event, the pyrotechnics kick off tomorrow evening and run through August 20^th (you can see the fireworks every Wednesday and Saturday). The best part about this event is that you don’t actually have to go to the casino to see the show, giving those amongst us with an overly enthusiastic affinity for gambling and/or self-exclusions from Lac-Leamy a fair chance to take in the ‘works without having the show derailed by a quick trip to the blackjack table.

Watch the Sunset

If you’re the romantic type you may already be all over this. Then again, if you're the romantic type, you're probably not reading this post. In any case, the shore of the Ottawa River is an underrated spot to catch an all-out, bollocks-to-the-wall, face melting sunset. Just about anywhere you find river, you’ll find a good viewing spot. Behind the War Museum, the locks below Parliament Hill, Nepean Point (at the Champlain Statue behind the National Gallery), the lookout at the Rockliffe Parkway, or even the top of a downtown high-rise all make for great viewing.

Keep in mind that a sunset will undoubtedly act as the best wingman you’ve ever had. I can almost guarantee that if you bring a date you’ll be holding hands by the end of the night. Beyond that I can’t make any promises.

I have more exclusive happenings, but I think I’d prefer to keep them to myself. Plus I’ve put more time into this post than I can possibly justify. Sorry folks.

Welcome To The Bloggerdome

So this is my super-official plunge into the self-absorbed world of blogging. At least one person urged me to do it, and I figured that was enough of an endorsement to get me going. I’ve now licensed myself to pour hours of potentially-productive time into the pit of wasted human existence that is blogging. I’d love if you’d support this endeavour. Invite your kith and kin to read it. Invite your enemies. Invite those hundreds of Facebook friends you never talk to. Invite strangers on the street. Invite co-workers, professors, unrequited loves, Nigerian princes, and baristas. Invite interlopers – I’ll make them feel right at home. If nothing else, at least read the blog yourself. Please. Ok, you’d like to know a bit about this thing before you dive right in? I understand that…

Although ostensibly a platform to inform the masses on what I ate for dinner; wax incoherently on geopolitical issues; obnoxiously defend Lady Gaga; and shamelessly exploit the thesaurus to create the illusion that I am a learned, erudite individual (see, I just did it right there), this web log will likely assume a completely unrelated form. I may have started the blog, but it's really just a collection of authors who will write about whatever they please. They will also write whenever they please. Anything goes, as it were. You can expect to read about music. You can expect to laugh. You can expect to read semi-serious commentary on current affairs. You might hear a little about sports. You'll probably run into some made up words. You can expect to laugh... again. There may be some pictures. Some of the authors might get edgy. Above all, I guarantee it will be exclusive...likely because nobody will read it.

There will be a few ground rules:
1. No name dropping.
2. No political endorsements.
3. No spamming.
4. No posting (or rolling) on the Sabbath.
5. No obscure movie references.
6. No hip-hop references.
7. No girls.
8. No shirt, no shoes... no LOLs.
9. No ground rules.

Let's do this...