Friday, September 23, 2011

How To Make a Manhattan (A Picture Blog! [A Plog!])

Start with a low-ball full of ice.  This ensures a nice, cool drink.
Then you want to take your Angostura Brand Bitters.  Not the same thing as your feelings towards your ex-wife, but similar in their high alcohol content.
Get a few drops inndya!  3-4 drops, or "dashes" as they're known in the industry, will do just fine.  It's potent stuff.

Here we have our Martini Rossa Vermouth.  Sweet vermouth differs from dry vermouth in it's red colour and completely different flavour.
Only need about a quarter oz. of this stuff.  Toss it in there!
WHABAMM!  We're half way there people.
Here we have the bourbon.  A Manhattan without whiskey is like a bun without a dog, utterly useless.  This is the finest and coincidentally also the cheapest bourbon at the Commission.  For a sweeter, less spicy and more patriotic Manhattan, substitute bourbon for rye.
The discerning eye will notice that this is the same photo as was used for the vermouth.  Well I lost the photo I took of the shot of bourbon, so use your gosh darn imaginations people!  A full oz. of whiskey is required.
Oh a combo pic! Here we have the near-complete Manhattan with ice, bitters, vermouth and whiskey.  Take an orange, slice a small wedge, and rim that glass like its your job.  Clockwise motion works best.
Take a very sharp knife and cut the wedge in half.  Eat section and discard peel.  Toss other section with peel into cocktail.  Using the same sharp knife (sharpness is necessary for optimum hydrodynamics at this stage), stir half-vigorously three or four times.  Do not lick the knife! Just put it in the sink and call it a day.
Here we go team. Take a sip of that bad boy! Here is the finished product, forlornly gazing out the window, thinking of loves lost and opportunities passed by.  Manhattan, man, you're trouble.  You should be seeing a psychiatrist, but why on earth did you come here?


  1. You oughta clean that desk off. How unprofessional.

  2. I'm making a manhattan at one in the afternoon, how much more professional could I possibly be?