Tuesday, September 6, 2011

An Alternative to Rideau Street-whoring

As many of us know, post-secondary education is an expensive endeavor.  Taking into account the moderate annual increases, the current tuition tab (it's more fun when you call it tab, 'cause then it's more like drinking at a bar than pissing money down the drain) for my very exclusive/lucrative Baccalaureate of the Most General of Arts is a little under one billion dollars, or $6300, I can't quite remember.  Either way I'm taking Arts not Mathematics.  In light of these... crushing... realities, I have decided to become a marketing and advertising mogul.

Nobody reads newspapers anymore, everyone steals television, and internet ads are almost completely ignored.  As a result of the failure of these traditional venues, I have created a wholly new and, I might say, absolutely fucking brilliant form of advertising.  May I present to you...

Book Bag Advertising and Marketing!

 Looks like a regular old book bag doesn't it?  Well get yer damn eyes checked.  What we have here is a mobile (like your cell phone!) billboard.  Looking at the detail shot...

For the low, low price of whatever I get around to charging people, you could own several square inches of my Levi's canvas book bag, and advertise your wife's business, your blog (Dusty?), or your love of Boris Johnson.

Any takers?


  1. I've got $10 a month for a full frontal nude portrait of Henry Thorough. Over the entire bag.

  2. If that's too offensive, he can cover his unit with a copy of his seminal literary classic, "Walled In".

  3. For those not familiar with this work, it is Henry's retrospective of the time he spent alone in the closet, isolated from society.